You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I have aggressive nipples.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize