I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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