We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
