you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
If I die, sorry about rent.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
