IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
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Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
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All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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