Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Randomize
