your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You made out with two different species that night
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
