My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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