hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
