I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You can't just leave with hair like that
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
