If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
