she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
