all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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