whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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