More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just saw a hot homeless man
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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