I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
high people should be assigned attendants
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We have so much sex to catch up on
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
