I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
