I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
