2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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