You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
