tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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