So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
This is my gift to your gina
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
