thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
