I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
