dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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