my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
