went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
