I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize