Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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