Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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