Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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