There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
