never play flip cup with pint glasses
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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