hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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