Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
