i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
there's paper in my vomit.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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