he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
