I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The feeling are messing with the penis
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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