Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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