Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
So squirting runs in the family.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
