I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
