He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
