Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
operation harelip BJ is a go
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
