Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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