I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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