Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
