I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
