What a fucking waste of an outfit
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
