i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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