i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He had one of those small greek statue penises
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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