SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Say something about gay babies.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
