Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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