Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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