He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize