She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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