since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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