Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
True strength comes from lack of pants
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
