please come you make the beer taste better
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
