C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize