Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
