lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
