It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
