Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
