he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
