You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
my sisters under your porch take her home
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
