Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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